Watch Your Step

Well, It has been a hot min since I’ve blogged, like 6 months!! Crazy how fast this year has been going. I’ve been trying to think what to blog about, then, I had it! I was reminded of a very good lesson just the other day. Well, a couple good lessons. So I figured I would share. :)

Just the other night I was at work. I walked outside to check on one of the students and what do I see? A cute, tiny, fluffy, kitten, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. So of course , I run out and pick her up and cuddle her. Put a picture of her on facebook and try to find the owner. After I few hours I find out she’s a stray that has been seen all around town. I realize I’m stuck with this kitten for the night. Then I realize, I’m allergic to her. My face itches. My nose itches. My eyes itch. I’m now desperate to get rid of the cute ball of fur. I finally find someone to watch her over night. I walk the kitten to her home for the night, because it was a beautiful evening and the house was just down the road. I drop her off and go on my way. As I'm walking back to work, I’m feeling pretty good about the situation, I’m positive, the next day, I will find a home for little miss kitty. Then, all of a sudden I feel a squish under my shoe. I stop, then  tell myself it was “just mud” and continue walking. I close up at work, hop in my car and start to drive home. Well, as I’m about a block away from my house I start smelling this horrible, horrible, smell, and it hits me..squish…that was NOT just mud….that was.. ew, gross, it was dog doo doo. So now I’m grossed out, gaging ,and am pulling in the drive way. I take my shoes off, tell mom my dreadful story and then put my shoes in the garage to deal with later.

 Tonight folks, was “later.” I go to the garage, which mind you, has been baking dog turd into my favorite tennis shoe the last few days,  I pick up said shoe, take it outside, sit down on the drive way with my plastic knife and start chipping away stinky, dried, disgusting dog poo. Then I Inspect it. Still gross. So I take it inside to the cleaning sink and start scrubbing off the stinky, dried, now wet, disgusting dog poo. After much scrubbing, horrible faces , and determination, my shoe is back to normal. Thank you Jesus!!

 So, you’re probably thinking by now the “lessons I learned” were...

#1 If I see a kitten in the road, look the other way. 

 #2 Watch where I’m walking.

Yes, those are both correct. And if you’re wondering If I ever found a home for the little fur ball, I did. Along with those two very good lessons I was also reminded of a truth about sin. How stinky and gross it is, especially when I leave that sin in my heart and don’t deal with it. That sin gets baked into my heart just like the dog doo doo did on my shoe. The longer I leave that sin in my heart, the harder it is to clean it out. The harder it is to overcome. But, even though it may be harder to clean out, after letting it bake into my heart, God can still wash it away, scrub it out of my heart and forgive me. Sure, I may “step” in the poo again. But I learn to take care of it right away and to ask God to cleanse me, make me new, and help me to “watch” out for the turd piles of life.

“Search me, O God and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” ~ Psalm 139:23-24

God already knows the turds in my heart and the ones I’m about to “step” into. So, a good reminder for me is to Ask God to search my heart, to show me the turds in my life to clean out and then to lead me away from any other stinky piles I may come close to stepping into. I've got to remember, to daily ask God to help me watch my step.

Real Life

I love  watching the rain here because 1st it's relaxing to me and 2nd it reminds me that Somedays are not always "Sunshine." I think those days are the ones at the end I'm most grateful for my Faith *side note: that's something I'm really working on my Faith. Really having answers for why I believe what I believe* for My God and for the different perspective he gives me during those hard times. This week, which is only three days in has been tough. Sunday night I got sick. I'm calling it the fever of death. Maybe I'm over dramatic, but, it wasn't fun. Tuesday I felt better. Today, well, let's just say my tummy hates me. I miss home and my mama, but, love my family here. Today I prayed that God would help me to pray, not worry and complain. I still however complained a little today. I went to this little coffee shop, I'm convinced coffee shops are the best places on earth. I sat down. One of the baristas came over and let me know they'd missed seeing me(and by the way I love that bc it makes me feel at home) We talked about cold brew coffee, cocktails, and how much we love Jesus. It was one of those inspiring talks where you focus on Faith and what it looks like to you, why you believe what you believe. Church, what it looks like to you. Religion vs relationship. How were called to love everyone, everyone. Not just the easy to love, but the hard to love. The rich, the poor, the drunkards, the widows, the orphans, the humble, the brats, everyone. We're not here to judge but to love and live a life that shows your love. To do. Not to sit back and say we should help others but go help them. It was a good chat. I left feeling inspired and thankful for my God and my Faith. For the fact that God always answers prayers. Especially the little desperate ones. I feel pretty exhausted today, but, that's life and I wouldn't trade mine for anyone else's! ❤️

Love Well

I use to make plans. I would plan everything and then get upset when something fell through because it wasn't in the plan. Let me tell you planning is not an easy habit to break. I understand that some things  require plans, but, the majority of life doesn't. The happiest I've been is when I just let life unfold and take every winding path as it comes, one step at a time.  Everyday I wake up with absolutely no plan. Just a goal, to love well. Somedays - this goal becomes more of a challenge. Its not always easy to love. I think that's why Jesus is constantly reminding us to "love others" because He knew that somedays we want to keep all that love locked up in the ugly, selfish part of our hearts. Those days my friends are the days you have to pause and pray and ask God to pour his love out of you. 

These last two weeks have been incredibly challenging for me. Situations have came up where it's not been the easiest to love. It's been hard. Then you know those times when you just want to talk to your mom and you can't. 1. Because you're  in Africa, staying out in the village for a few days with no internet and sharing a room with a dozen rats. (Which is another story for another day) 2. When you get back to town, Uganda has shut down all social media. 3. Your iMessages quit working. 4. You know your mom doesn't check her email often and it may be next year before she replies! 😉

So what is there left to do? Cry... and more importantly pray. What I'm realizing are those times when I find it the hardest to love, the hardest to have real joy, the hardest to just do life, I don't need to go to anyone to "talk it out."  I just have to go to God. He is my comfort, my strength and my joy. He is the source of all my love. He is always there loving me and helping me do life. Wanting me to take that same love He freely gives me, even on those days when I'm not easy to love, out to others. How thankful I am that God loves me and hears all my prayers, even the ones where i don't know what to say. Im thankful He keeps me loving well.

 

Today Was A Good Day

Wow! It's already been one week since I arrived to my favorite place in the whole world. Where the roads are covered in red dirt, the matooke grows everywhere, chapattis are sold at every corner and I don’t wear shoes half the time I’m here… Uganda, the place that has my heart. I’ve heard the phrase “Home is where the Heart is” my whole life. I never fully understood it until just last Saturday though. As we neared the rolling hills and beautiful forests of Fort Portal that phrase came into my mind and all I could think was, “Wow, I get it!” I feel at home, just like I feel in my own room back in small town, middle of nowhere, Kansas.  

Jet lag kicked by butt the first few days. Sleep would come about 3-4am, then, it would be wakey wakey time! What made it easy to get out of bed was the little alarm clocks outside my window, yes, outside my window – not your typical alarm clock either – a little boy full of energy who is trying to keep baby Zoe entertained why everyone sleeps…or doesn’t sleep…”Waaaake up…waaaake up its time for everyone to waaaaake up… *hushed tones* Zoe, knock on Auntie Kaylas window *knock, knock, knock* AUNTIE KAYLA  ITS TIME TO WAKE UP!” haha I’m pretty sure that has to start your day off right.

Something I’m learning is you can’t capture the pure joy of a moment in a picture, because, you have to stop, grab the phone, turn it on, unlock it, find the camera app, take a picture, and by then, the moment is gone. Believe me, I’ve tried. A picture doesn’t capture the legit dance parties like the one we had tonight well. Too blurry – just like my memories during the time of trying to take the photo, blurry!  I’m learning to just be present. Take in the smiles and hugs; remember the little laughs and the crazy dance moves. Ah, Rose has her own signature move now…its kind of a cross between a bird trying to fly and an Irish jig. Yeah, just try to figure that one out and it still looked cooler than any of mine. My hips don’t lie when it comes to dancing, I missed out on every. single. dancing. gene. possible. Sorry, back to what I’m learning… Just enjoy the moment and be present.

Pictures can be deleted but the smiles and laughter embedded in your heart can’t be erased.  Today was by far one of the best days here yet and in the words of sweet Rose “Today was a good day”

2015: The Year I Hit Rock Bottom

Hitting rock bottom can turn out to the best thing that has ever happened to you if you just “give up.” Give up your pain, your hurt, your anger, your loneliness, your struggles and let God take control.

During the part of 2015 where I literally had that hitting rock bottom experience. I had a very good friend of mine tell me this…

 “Think about your life, how you want it to be in the future. All the people you’ll touch, all the good you’ll bring to the world. Find what really makes you happy and passionate and chase it! Find your dream, fall in love with your dream, love yourself, and God will take care of the rest.”

That challenged me. Not at first. At first all I could see was right then. I was hurt. I was angry. I was sad. I didn’t know what I wanted from life. But over the course of the year I figure it out.

I wanted to write this so it painted a beautiful story and scene in your mind but I came to the conclusion just a plain old list would be better. It’s a list that is not even worded well. My English teach would be sad to see all these incomplete sentences. But here it is.

 

2015, you’ve taught me a lot…

Heartbreaks will heal so don’t be afraid to Love with all you have

I re-found my passion

Never give up on my dream.

 I love youth ministry

 “Be Still and Know that I am God”

Crying is ok

Sometimes the friends I need the most, live right next door

Invest my time with others

 

Jesus is the best

Be present

 

Love big

My identity is found in Christ

Life is too short to stress

Live life with confidence

Take time to listen and find out peoples’ stories

Friends come in ALL ages

Beauty isn’t about your physical appearance it’s about your heart

Strength isn’t JUST about how much you can lift, it’s about how strong your relationship with Jesus is

Family is important

Time is something you never can get back

Be my crazy self

Thank you Jesus and 2015 for shaping me into who I am.  

Maybe this post is more for me. TO remember, to look back and to see that this past year I let go of my life and let God take control.

“Think about your life, how you want it to be in the future. All the people you’ll touch, all the good you’ll bring to the world. Find what really makes you happy and passionate and chase it! Find your dream, fall in love with your dream, love yourself, and God will take care of the rest.”

If you haven’t found who you are and what you’re passionate about find it over 2016 friend!

Find it at the beginning. Dream it. Chase it. Live it. Own it. And Love Big.